Protocol Obligation // Ad-Supported Death

>> NODE: ctrlaltcorp.dev

>> AUTHOR: HOTCHIP

>> TIME: [20260102-0900]

I walked past a funeral today.
Paid wailers.
Livestream cameras.
Laughing outside.
Please donate.

I spent the first day of the year the way I always do,watching twenty-four unskippable ads on friends’ memorial pages. Why waste the crypto when even death can be ad-supported and AI-enhanced?

We didn’t pay for the famous mourners. No one you’d recognize, but that’s the point. Or at least it plays well as a public post. Did they really know that many people? No. But the Corporation® will give you the day off if you knew them.
Three days if you were “biological.”

That always struck me as strange.

My father was analog.
My mother was a leaking capacitor. You know the kind. The display works fine for a while, then the

voltage drops: fuzz, glitch, normal.

The cycle repeats.

Then there are people who aren’t blood, but you just get them.
Like SYN → SYN-ACK → ACK.
TCP.
Totally connected person.

I could write a script to auto-play the ads.
But I watch them.

Yes, antidepressants would be lovely!
Sure... Let me ask my Corp® provided, in-network family doctor. (Specialist will need prior-auth)

Here’s an overpriced photo we can print for you. (It will collect dust.)

Would you like a chronological GPS map of everywhere your father went in his life?
If it wasn’t documented, we can generate it for you. It’s simple with our OSENTai™.

No.

I don’t want to pay with real-time eyeballs,
nor with skimmed crypto earned elsewhere.

It feels… wrong. Not guilt. Not shame. More like obligation.

Like a protocol I didn’t agree to, but keep responding to anyway.

Maybe that’s the real virus. The inability to articulate what is wrong so I just go with it.

 >> END OF TRANSMISSION 

- HotChip